


Love Notes from Beyond the Grave

by orphan_account



Series: Assbutts and Mystery Writers verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fallen!Castiel, M/M, author!Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-10
Updated: 2012-05-10
Packaged: 2017-11-05 03:10:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/401804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You spend over 30 years of your life loving someone and sometimes, proof of that love gets left behind in little ways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Notes from Beyond the Grave

**Author's Note:**

> This is a pair of really angsty companion ficlets in my Assbutts and Mystery Writers verse. You might need tissues for this.

There are millions of pieces of paper strewn over Dean’s desk. Notes for his next book, doodles of things that popped into his brain, and scrapes that just accumulated in little piles all around. But, in one of the infinite photo frames on the desk, there is a folded piece of paper that no one will ever be able to touch.

But Dean is gone now and it’s left to his three kids to clean the loft up and get it ready for showing, so that they can sell it. So, Danielle grabs the piece of paper and unfolds it, ever curious about one of the big secrets that her father had.

It’s a note.

From her other dad.

From Castiel.

_Beloved,_

_I think I’m going to close my eyes today. I don’t think they’ll be opening again. I would say don’t cry for me, but I know you better than that. You’ll hold the tears back until no one is watching. That’s just how you’ve always been._

_If you’re wondering, I don’t regret it. I don’t regret changing the entire weave of destiny, because you still turned out to be the best man I ever knew, even if you were a bit more selfish, which I fail to see as a fault right now._

_Do me one favor, don’t come rushing up behind me. I know it’ll be hard, but I don’t think the kids would ever forgive us for leaving one right after another. So wait a few years, mourn for me, write a book about everything, tell the world our ridiculous story, then come. I should be able to find where Gabe is hiding the booze by then._

_I’m sorry I’m going so soon. Don’t think this means that I don’t love you, cause I do. I love you so much that sometimes it’ll just hit me out of nowhere and I lose the ability to breathe because I got lucky enough to have you for this small span of time and I will never get over that._

_I’m getting tired now and I think this pen is finally running out. Also, I hear you banging around in the kitchen. Cooking was never my forte, so I guess I need to thank you for not letting me starve all these years._

_Je t’aimerai toujours*_

_~Castiel_

Danielle sat back in her father’s chair, the note shaking in her trembling hand. She always knew that her parents had a love that no one, except maybe her Aunt Kate and Uncle Rick, could ever hope to match up to, but to hold such physical proof of it in her hands, it was like a shot to the heart in the very best of ways.

She folded the note back up and put it back in its place in the photo frame. She would clean the desk later, right now, she needed to go downstairs and hug someone before she started crying again.

*Je t’aimerai tojours = I will always love you

\------

Molly hasn’t been in her parents room since the day Dean died. It hurts too much to go in there, but Josh is being an ass and refusing to go in there and Danielle won’t leave Dean’s study, leaving it to the youngest Beckett child to clean up the room where both of her parents died.

If she requires therapy after this, she is so making Josh pay for it.

The bedroom is dark, the way its been since her dad’s body had been removed from it. She sends up a silent prayer when the door finished squeaking open, somewhat grateful that her dad had gone in his sleep, just like papa had, so there was not much of a mess beyond the usual. But even that has tears springing to her eyes, unbidden.

Then she sees it.

It’s just a plain square of folded up paper, but remembering her parents odd habit of leaving notes for one another, she knows that it could be the secret to the ark of the freaking covenant. So, she opens it up and reads it slowly.

She’s going to wish she had just burned it.

_I don’t know why I’m still writing notes to you._

_I mean, you’ve been dead for three years and I’m pretty sure that you can’t mail letters to heaven._

_That’s where you are, right? You better be, cause if you went the other way cause of your whole falling bit, I am not going to hesitate jumping down from those white fluffy clouds and going after your ass._

_You know, I’ll never forget that first night that you freaking crash landed in the living room. I had just BARELY managed to get some me time and then all of a sudden, there was you in that godforsaken trenchcoat, looking so freaking confused and worried, like you had broken something. Which if I’m being honest, I think you did, but hell if I can remember anymore. That was over 50 years ago._

_Wow._

_I didn’t think it had been that long._

_I know I never say it, but I miss you. These past three years have been hell and I’m tired of waking up to a empty bed and even emptier house. So, is okay if I come after you now? I mean, I waited like you told me to and I even wrote that stupid book._

_Didn’t have anything better to do._

_So don’t be too mad when I show up on your doorstep in heaven and demand love and booze. I think I’ve earned it._

_Dean_

Molly sinks down the bed, the note still gripped tight in her shaking hands, and tears threatening to spill over. She knew it had been hard for her dad when her papa died, but she never realized how hard. To miss someone so much that for the next three years, you continue to write to them, she just can’t imagine it, yet here it so clearly happened. The note falls from her hands and onto the floor, the will to keep hold of it gone as the tears finally start falling.


End file.
